Proud to be Scottish

Scotland is my country and no matter where I go in the world it will always be home. As it's St Andrews Day I was just thinking about what this tiny tiny country has contributed to the world. Believe it or not, we have shaped so much of the world it's almost unbelievable.

Throughout the world people pick up a telephone and talk to friends and family at opposite ends of the globe, they make business calls and (dirty buggers) use it for cheap thrills to those durty sex lines. The telephone is without a doubt one of the most used creations ever, and it came from the mind of Edinburgh born Alexander Graham Bell.

James Chalmers from Arbroath created the sticky postage stamp, and we're nearing the time of year when millions of these get used.

You know that big box that you keep your eyes glued to for ages? Watching such classics as Doctor Who and such gash such as River City and I'm a wannabe put me in there? Aye? Straight from the mind of another Scotsman - John Logie Baird

Did you also know that Scotland were the first country to print postcards? Random bit of information for you there!

The MRI body scanner was invented by John Mallard from Aberdeen (I wrote so many sheep jokes there, but decided it was best to remove them incase I cause offence to any sheep that may be reading this)

Speaking of sheep...............who could forget Dolly the Sheep? The worlds first cloned mammal, cloned in Midlothian

Our great country also invented the worlds most boring and tedious game...............Golf!

William Cullen from Hamilton invented the fridge (refrigerator) so remember that next time you need to chill yer beer!

There's so much more that Scotland has introduced to the world including the flushing toilet, the Kaleidoscope, The Boys Brigade and The Bank of England (it's true, google it!) to name a few

Of course, our football team sucks, we are over run by neds, we invented the deep fried mars bar. Our national dish is minced heart, liver and kidneys inside a sheeps stomach and our national instrument sounds like the after effect of Cheryl Cole getting a grizzly bear rammed up her anus. 

Scotland has also given us some of the best music in history including Deacon Blues "Dignity" and music from The Proclaimers, Biffy Clyro, IdleWild, Dougie Maclean and even Mark Knopfler is Scottish. 

We lay claim to The Big Yin himself, Billy Connolly and then of course there's Mr Bond himself Sean Connery and yet all of these don't begin to scratch the surface.

No other country in the world produced Rabbie "Robert" Burns did they? Naw that was us! And every country in the world echos his famous "Auld Lang Syne" on New Years eve.

We have the best Hogmanay Street Party in the world! We also have some of the greatest landscapes in the world.

I may not walk around with a Saltire painted on my face and I may not sing Flower of Scotland at any god given moment, but I sure as hell am proud to be from the best country in the world.........Scotland

One word of warning.............if you fuck with us......................."We'll set aboot ye"