Music is a passion, I'm fed up saying this to people.
The amount of times someone asks me what I do and I say "I'm a musician" and then I hear the generic replies of......."I want to be a musician and be famous" "I want to make loads of money and be famous"
Most people just see music as a gateway into some sort of world of wonder............when in reality..........it's nothing more than a business that will either eat your soul or fill you with joy. On some strange occassions it can do both.
A couple of years ago I was in a pretty bad place, I had walked away from music for a few months (at probably the one point I should have kept going as things were starting to get good) and I was out on my arse pretty much. I had moved a good bit away and so it was going to be hard to get into anything. One night though, as I was lying in my hotel bed I got a phone call from Martin Bone, my very good friend and photographer. The man had been a star in getting my photoshoots done and ready for my EP release and here after months he randomly called me up out of the blue. That night I was under orders I was going to Su Casa to play. A bit of a shock, I wasn't prepared, I wasn't in the mood, I didn't even have my guitar. All I had were a load of memories of being onstage performing live, a backpack and an engagement ring that quite frankly I wanted to melt down and make a penis shape out of.
I got dragged to Su Casa that night, and upon arriving I was told I could use Jamie McGeechan's (Little Fire) guitar. As I got the guitar ready my mind was telling me that this was a bad idea, I was not in the mood, I hadn't performed in months, I just wanted to get out of there. In my head this was the worst possible thing I could do. My voice would probably sound like it had some sort of disease, could I even remember how to play the damn guitar?
I started, 2 years on and I can still remember my set and the exact order. It's one of those nights that I will always remember because it was the night music filled me with joy. I had completely lost my passion for music, something I never thought possible. That night I took to that small stage, in that coffee shop, in that small town. I played possibly one of the heartfelt sets I had ever played. I opened with End Game (a song which now I detest, it's possibly the worst song I ever wrote) but I played it with everything I had. I followed it up with "Words" a song which I will always play, it's the very first song that I ever wrote and it's over a decade old but I love playing it, as somehow it takes me back to when I was younger and just playing music in my room for the fun of it.
It was a short set that night, 4 songs with my last two being the two that are probably my most well known "Reflections" and "House of Broken Dreams" Those were the two songs that brought me back my passion that night. It's the rush of performing, the buzz of knowing that for a short time everyone in the room is focused on you. It's not narcasistic it's enjoyment. You know you're entertaining, you know that any given moment the audience could turn on you and when it doesn't happen you love it. There's no better feeling than performing music live, whether it's to an audience of 5 or a massive crowd of 5000, the feeling is always the same. Get on that stage and for that short time, nothing else in life matters.
I started, 2 years on and I can still remember my set and the exact order. It's one of those nights that I will always remember because it was the night music filled me with joy. I had completely lost my passion for music, something I never thought possible. That night I took to that small stage, in that coffee shop, in that small town. I played possibly one of the heartfelt sets I had ever played. I opened with End Game (a song which now I detest, it's possibly the worst song I ever wrote) but I played it with everything I had. I followed it up with "Words" a song which I will always play, it's the very first song that I ever wrote and it's over a decade old but I love playing it, as somehow it takes me back to when I was younger and just playing music in my room for the fun of it.
It was a short set that night, 4 songs with my last two being the two that are probably my most well known "Reflections" and "House of Broken Dreams" Those were the two songs that brought me back my passion that night. It's the rush of performing, the buzz of knowing that for a short time everyone in the room is focused on you. It's not narcasistic it's enjoyment. You know you're entertaining, you know that any given moment the audience could turn on you and when it doesn't happen you love it. There's no better feeling than performing music live, whether it's to an audience of 5 or a massive crowd of 5000, the feeling is always the same. Get on that stage and for that short time, nothing else in life matters.
I lost my passion for music, and in the space of 20 minutes everything changed.
Some people say that it's not true, others will never understand it. Music really does make the world go round. Whether it's just one song, or whether it's an entire album or an entire back catalogue. There's music in the wind, and if you close your eyes just for a few moments, you'll hear it.
I met a young girl last night, who just speaking to her for all of 5 minutes, I realised she was exactly the same as me when I first started out in music. She loves it for what it is, she wants to do it and she wants to do it for the right reasons. Her words to me were "There's a song in everything" and I don't think there's ever been a phrase that has ringed more true in my ears.
Music isn't a gateway to be famous, music is a gateway to a world that will open your eyes and your mind. It's a privilage to be able to say that I'm glad I went to Su Casa that night, because otherwise I don't think I'd have gotten back that passion that I love so much.
It wasn't until I went to get a photo from that night that I saw two photos, that make my point more than words could.
Here's me before I performed, looking miserable as hell
Here's me before I performed, looking miserable as hell
Here's me performing......with a smile on my face
Anyway I've rambled on enough. Right now I'm going to go home and make Chicken Burgers......FUCK YEAH
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