"He's from Barcelona"

I'm aware that this month marks the start of that eagerly anticipated, showcase of the musical immortals "X-Factor" Now as I sit here thinking about everything that's wrong with shows like X-Factor my mind occasionally glances over what's good about it........and here it is.........there's nothing good about X-Factor!

Since 2004 we have been mind numbingly bored by Simon Cowell and his cronies on a show that oozes the musical talent of Ed the Duck and My Morning Farts combined. I'm not saying that any of these of the numpties who audition for the show are untalented, but the talented ones rarely get past the audition stage, and lets be truly honest....the really talented ones don't audition in the first place.

Could you imagine if one Saturday night you were sitting and all of a sudden Melisa Kelly pops up on X-Factor doing her best Jessie J impression or if Little Fire appeared and started singing Boyzone? It just doesn't happen.

Mindless, Self Obsessed, Penis Licking, waste of talent and waste of airtime.

So many shows have came along and promised to "break the tradition" by having true talent showcased. I've yet to see it! The Voice came along and said it was different, because they only focused on "The Voice" of the performer, that lasted all of one round, until the judges started seeing who was performing and all the mankies got thrown out!

It's a sad state of affairs, and unfortunately it's true. Television Talent Shows are nothing but a showcase of people who want to be pumped rotten by the nearest rich guy who can give them a record label. "Oh Mr Cowell, give us a record deal" ..... "No problem love, spread em legs like butter"

I'm wracking my brains trying to work out what the hell keeps this show on air. We're now approaching Series 9! 9 Series??? I mean surely that's past it's sell by date?

For example, some truly genius television shows never made it past the second series! Fawlty Towers for example, a show that was truly magnificent, and brought joy and laughter to so many people ended after two series. X-Factor - a show that makes people cringe and feel sick lasts for 9 series. I'm sorry but am I missing something?

Jedward can't sing, I think this is a fact of life that we're all aware of. However this pointless television show has made them international stars and made us suffer for hours on end at these ADHD arseholes who use each others manky jizz to gel their hair up.

Fuck X-Factor- Fuck The Voice - Fuck TV Talent Shows

I'm going to approach Channel 4 and get them to back my idea of a talent show. It's called "Only True Musicians" and here's the best part, if anyone walks into an audition and can't sing or play an instrument for shit, they get shot in the back of the head infront of a studio audience. These untalented no hopes basically kill us with their musical murder. I for one can 100% say I will not be watching X-Factor this year, even if Tulisa does a live version of her porno on stage, I will simply be changing to another Channel and watching something worthwhile, plus it's not that long until Doctor Who starts back on the TV!